Tag Archives: death

Feeling Stressed? Jump then

Seems to me that plunging to your death is the latest craze in China.

And where better to jump than Foxconn’s giant Longhua factory.

Squeeze yourself in with about 400 000 other workers where you will eat, sleep and work before your eventual jump to liberation!

To ease the journey, Foxconn offers  a comprehensive 70 hour work week program where you will work til your hands twitch at night. To further prepare you for the jump, the factory operates  strict No-talking classes where you, alongside hundreds of others in the workshop will learn to shut up and focus on the task at hand. A noisy jumper is a bad jumper they say.

Foxconn believes that a good suicide program is not only free but pays its candidates at the same time! Therefore, the plant offers each candidate 900 Yuan (USD131) a month for their efforts. For each successful complete of the program, the company pays the candidate’s family a large undisclosed amount as a reward!

So, if you are young, between 19 and 24 years of age, and looking for a high flying, brain busting and smashing good time, sign up now.


The thing about Chinese, labour intensive companies is that the management teams are usually made up of exploitative, beer-bellied apes who pay minimal wages and will not hesitate to give anyone a good whipping should things get even the slightest bit out of line. So, you are treated like a robot. And when a person gets treated like robot, he jumps.

Here’s an authentic Chinaman quote by Lin Fengxiang (robot in the making), a 23-year-old villager from Maoming, Guangdong.

“I know why all those people jumped. In here, nobody gives a damn about you. Too bad I’ve already got one foot on this boat. It’s hard to get off now.”

Most employees are migrants from neighboring  areas who are so used to slacking on the back of a cow, looking at nothing but rows and rows of wheat. Of course they will jump if you put them in a factory. Instead of of focusing on psychological issues, culture shocks or girl-boy relationships experienced by these employees, the press should really slap the management around abit.

Ah yes, the press. When your PR push can’t get your workers to stop leaping off of buildings, then perhaps it’s time to start up the censoring machine. Predictable.

Not to mention the non-suicide pact that workers were forced to sign.

So far, 10 employees have died and on Thursday, the plant saw someone trying to slit his own wrists.

Below the national average? Dude, one death is too many.


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